In the middle of an uphill road

I apologize for not being consistent with my updates. Time just seems to go way too fast.

Jarrod is making incredible progress. I don't even know where to begin. He is now able to get off his bed to his walker or wheelchair without using his upper body strength or even by holding on with his hands. He is now able to use his leg strength. He wheels around the halls like he's training for the Olympics. He's also been WALKING the halls with his walker. Before, the physical therapist had to hold on to him a bit but she is now able to let him do it. He still gets very tired from walking that distance but he is becoming more and more indpendent. They even put a sign on his door telling the nurses that they can allow him to walk/wheel to his bathroom. His left leg is still a bit weaker than his right. It shakes a bit when he puts pressure on his left foot. He's also having a bit of a struggle with figuring out how to move his hips as he walks. It's amazing how you don't realize how much of your body you actually use to do simple things such as walking. Keep those things in your prayers. Your prayers are being heard and are totally being blessed. Jarrod is making great improvements. I see us so close to the top of that hill. You know what happens when you get to the top though, right? You celebrate your accomplishment and WHOOOSH you slide back down. That slide down is coming quick! Jarrod will be discharged on Tuesday the 20th (YAY before Christmas!) but don't think we'll be resting when that happens. He'll have to immediately start radiation everyday and rehab 3 times a week. Hi, did I mention I'm about 20 months pregnant? I also have to see my doctor once a week until the baby comes. It is going to get CRAZY over here.

We ARE so thankful though that baby Amariah is still nice and cozy in my belly. She's not out yet. We thought she would be because of how busy I have been and how much I am on my feet. I saw the doctor today and I am not dialated yet. I'm about 50% effaced but cervix is still closed. She's waiting for daddy to come home. She's just not waiting patiently. She's been throwing little fits in here, hurting mommy because she wants OUT. I think she's also trying to tell mama to REST. Everyone is telling me to rest. God is telling me to rest. Am I listening? No. How can I?! There's too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. Yes, i need to learn to let people help and I have been a good girl and have. It's not easy but I really have no choice. It has been such a blessing actually to have so many people be willing and able to help. It's like God attached 20 more hands and feet to my body. There are things though that I've held on to and haven't let people do. Sometimes it's just easier to do it yourself (it's really not but I haven't admitted it to myself yet, sssh). I had a bit of a melt down yesterday. I was just overwhelmed. I was crying out to God, just telling him I want REST. I NEED rest. Sometimes I feel as though I have to help people help me which makes it more difficult and I don't really get that rest. I told the Lord I want REAL rest, not the "answer 50 million phone calls and make another 50 million phone calls and schedule this or that and do this or that" kind of rest. That has been my "rest" lately and I'm not a fan of it. I kept saying. "ok God, you said 'Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest'. Well, i'm still waiting. Make it happen, Lord. You're the one that said it."

What a brat I am. I received a phone call today from a man from the men's ministry at church. He and another man from church wanted to come over to check out our house and see what we would need for Jarrod when he comes home. This man has been in a wheel chair since he was 15 years old. He wanted to bless us and point out to the other man who worked in construction for over 25 years what we would need. He wanted to know a good time for them to come over and I mentioned I had a doctor's appointment today so it would have to be after then. He then wanted to pray for me. Now, I have never met this man. He didn't know who I was. I didn't vomit my life story on him  or even give him a hint of what I've been feeling inside. All he knew was I was the wife of a guy from church who just had surgery and can't quite walk yet. He prayed for my appointment that it would go well, of course but then he went in a different direction. He then started to pray that I wouldn't worry anymore and to trust in Jehovah Jireh (GOD PROVIDER), Jehovah Rafa(sp?) (GOD HEALER). He prayed that I would REST in Christ. He prayed that I would "seek FIRST his kingdom and righteousness" and all the things I've been worrying about would be taken care of. He prayed that my day would so be filled with the love and joy of Jesus. His prayer was PERFECT. I couldn't help but cry. It was exactly what I needed. It was the prayer I needed. I also needed that little spanking of remembering to "seek HIS kingdom and righteousness FIRST." THAT is why I haven't been getting the rest I so desperately need. I've been too busy thinking about what needs to get done, making lists of this and that, going here, going there, spending time with Hannah, spending time with Jarrod, etc etc etc. I have my quick little prayer/Bible time when I wake up and before I go to bed but I haven't had that deep intimate time with the Lord where I just REST in him and just soak up His peace. I've been too much of a Martha and not a Mary. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, read Luke 10:38-42. It's in the New Testament in the Holy Bible. Great story, please read it.

REST. Something so needed and wanted but something extremely difficult to genuinely do. Who thought that would be one of my biggest challenges? It's a hard one to learn. I'm getting there. I still need that slap with a ruler occassionally, which I have been getting with these pains from the baby and loved ones giving me that look of disapproval.

It's almost midnight and I need to get some REST for my new day tomorrow of learning how to REST (and still get things done at the same time...I'm such a human).