The start of this journey

Jarrod and I started our marriage like any other young married couple--broke and learning little by little about life and how to be an "adult." We went through the normal arguments and small trials but overall our life was sweet and calm. We had some trouble conceiving which then was our biggest problem. We tried, and tried, and prayed but could not get pregnant. Then one day the Lord blessed my womb. We gave birth to our sweet little Hannah Joy on April 6, 2010. A year and a half later we are now 7 months pregnant with our second little girl, Amariah. Jarrod wanted a second baby right away. I on the other hand wanted to wait about 3 years. When we found out we were pregnant the second time, I was so scared. "How am I going to take care of TWO babies at the same time?!!" I couldn't imagine how I would manage taking care of two babies. It seemed so crazy to me. We ran into an amazing lady one night who has 5 kids, all pretty close in age. She gave us such wisdom that calmed my heart. She told us that children are a REWARD from the Lord so in that He will give us everything we need--provision, strength, etc., to take care of these precious gifts. We've clung to that and are so excited for this new journey with our two girly little gifts of life.

Before Jarrod and I even met, he started having some pains on his side. They weren't anything that scared him to think it was anything major so he shrugged it off. When we started dating the pains increased to the point that I had to take him to the ER a couple of times. Both times the doctor's shrugged it off because they couldn't find anything wrong with him. They said it might just be acid reflux. They gave him Prilosec and some pain meds. The Prilosec never worked. The pains spread to his chest. We tried to avoid all kinds of acidic and spicy foods, thinking it was just heart burn or acid refulx like the doctors told us. He lost his job because he missed too many days calling in sick and going to the doctors. We were going to get married in just a few months so this was not the greatest time to lose his job. He did side jobs and tried to start his own company which carried us through until he found another job. The pain he had would always come and go. One month he would perfectly fine and the next month it would hit all of a sudden. Kept trying to go to the doctor about it and still could never find anything. It started to hurt around his ribs and so he went to the doctor and chiropractor. They concluded that he must have a rib out.

As time went on, he shrugged off his pains and just lived with them. When I was pregnant with Hannah, I wanted to make sure we figured this thing out before we had the baby. He went to a new doctor and she found 3 hernias. She said they weren't anything he needed to take care of right away. They also said he had a bit of scoliosis which they said is probably what's hurting him. When I first got pregnant with Amariah, Jarrod's boss paid for a couple sessions of what's called the "Egoscue" method. It's somewhat like a physical therapy type thing. He went and he thought it helped a bit but still no cure. We started noticing his legs were not normal. He kept having pain in his legs and knees and he had a pretty bad limp. He's always walked a bit funny but now we could really notice it. Even people around could notice it. He was tired of feeling so weak and cramped up so he thought that going to the chiropractor to get a few quick adjustments would help him go back to normal like it normally would before. He went to the chiropractor in August 2011. He asked Jarrod why he was there and he explained that he's been having weakness and heaviness in his legs and knees. He did a couple tests on him and just stopped. He had a look of concern. He told Jarrod that he could not continue and would not touch him. He knew there was something serious. He was concerned about the mix of his high reflexes and poor muscle strength. He knew Jarrod had to see the neurologist. This chiropractor was on top of it! He went so far as to call Jarrod's primary care doctor to get an appointment ASAP so that he can get a referral to see a neurologist. When Jarrod saw his PCP, she had that same look of concern as the chiropractor. She gave the referral and kept calling Jarrod throughout the days to make sure he got his appointments going with the neurologist. The DOCTORS themselves were calling Jarrod and getting this ball on the roll. Usually it's the front desk people who handle these matters but the doctors were stepping in. We knew something was not right. He was supposed to see a certain neurologist but he couldn't get an appt with him for 3 weeks so she gave us another referral for one that was available. FINALLY he got an appt. That neurologist ordered an MRI with the dye (not sure of the medical term for it). Jarrod didn't feel too comfortable at his office. The staff, his office, the atmosphere, just seemed so weird and unprofessional. We thought about getting another referral to see a different neurologist but we decided to give him one last chance after the MRI was completed. We got the results and saw the neurologist again. He also had that same look of concern. He said the results were "not good." They found a "mass" in his spinal cord which was causing blockage. That was as much as he could tell us. We asked for possibilities of what it could be, what we need to do, how it got there, if it's cancerous, etc. He could not give us ANY answers. He gave us a referral to see a neurosurgeon so that we could get more answers.

We were so tired of this run around. We just wanted an answer! Our minds went crazy. Our neighbor, Lynda came over the next day to do some online research with me. We wanted to look for top surgeons and hospitals that work on what jarrod has. Before we did our research she wanted to pray. She is such a prayer warrior and totally has the gift of prayer. Her words are so perfect and fitting for any situation. She prayed about our situation. I remember her specifically praying that God would direct our steps to the surgeon he wanted us to see and that if even his personality and bed side manners weren't the greatest, that we wouldn't be discrouraged because we KNEW God had directed us to him. After that we did our research and came across this group of 4 doctors in our area. We read about them briefly and came to like them because they offered second opinions. We wanted a second opinion and thankfully it was already from neurosurgeons. We emailed them jarrod's results and asked if that was something they dealt with. I received a response saying it was so were in the works of setting up an appointment.We then emailed Jarrod's chiropractor the results because he wanted to be kept up to date with how Jarrod was doing. He explained so much more than what that neurologist told us but he still couldn't give us definite answers. We asked him for a recommendation of a neurosurgeon. He gave us the name (let's say Dr. Mickey) and said he was an EXCELLENT neurosurgeon. He was very conservative, meaning he wouldn't cut if he didn't have to. He said he liked his techniques and was just overall an intelligent surgeon with great bedside manners. He said the other surgeons in that group are great too but may not have the same great bedside manners. One surgeon in particular was known for being very straight forward and not a very cuddly smiley person. The chiropractor even said that if we for some reason couldn't get Dr. Mickey but got the other doctor (let's say Dr. Donald) to not be put off by his personality because he too is a great surgeon.We HAD to have Mickey though. I looked online with my neighnor, Lynda about this doctor. We saw great things about him and saw that he was very close to us. He worked with a team of 3 other surgeons. We also read that their place took our insurance/medical group. We also realized that this was the same group that we had found earlier that gives the second opinions! We were so excited! We weren't sure of where his neurologist referred him to but we wanted to make sure we just went straight to Dr. Mickey. I immediately called Jarrod's primary care physician to make an appointment the next day so that he could get a referral for Dr. Mickey. The appointment was set. Later that day, Jarrod finally got a call from his neurologist's office. They said the referral was authorized. Jarrod asked them out of curiosity who he was being referred to and it was the same group of doctor's that Dr. Mickey was in! We couldn't believe it.We cancelled his appt with his PCP. We tried to make an appt with Dr. Mickey but he was booked up until December. We felt defeated. We were set up with Dr. Donald which discouraged us. I remembered Lynda's prayer from a couple days before and how specific it was..."Lord, direct their steps to the surgeon you want them to have and if he doesn't have a great personality or bedside manners may it not discourage them because they know that YOU directed them to him..." We were so comforted. How much clearer can you get that this was definitely directed by God? We had so many signs pointing to this surgeon.

We went to our appointment with Dr. Donald, preparing ourselves to be strong and not get weary from this cold doctor. Lynda and her husband prayed beforehand that we would find favor in this surgeon's eyes and that he would come to love us. They prayed that he would either already be a believer or that he would eventually become one through our situation. We went into the exam room and all over the walls were plaques and certificates of "TOP SURGEON." Then there was another frame of Philippians 4:6-7 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." We were comforted beyond words. We knew this was the place we are supposed to be in. The surgeon came in, did some strength/reflex tests and then went over the results with us. He was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in his spinal cord, about 4 inches long. He would have to have surgery in order to avoid becoming a paraplegic(sp?). They would have to perform a lamenectomy which means taking out some of the bone to be able to get through the cord to the tumor. He and another surgeon would perform the surgery. He explained that sometimes the tumor can be like a hotdog where you can just pull the whole thing out. Other times it can be wrapped around and more difficult and sometimes impossible to take out the entire tumor because you can do more damage or cause paralysis. If they are not able to take out all of the tumor, Jarrod would have to proceed with radiation 3-4 weeks after the surgery. Since it is malignant (not necessarily meaning cancerous but that it would recur) they would do continual check ups every 6-12 months to see if it's come back. He couldn't guarantee us complete healing. He couldn't even guarantee a recovery time. It just all depends on how Jarrod's body responds. If he healed well, he could be out of the hospital in 4 days and eventually back to work in about a month or so. If he didn't regain strength or had pain he would have to go straight to rehab from the hospital for who knows how long. The surgeon was not as cold as we prepared ourselves for. He was actually very nice, sincere, and caring. He told us he would do whatever he can and the rest is up to God. We just have to trust in Him. Our close friend's and neighbor's, Dan and Lynda went with us to the appt to help us take notes and such. They spoke to him while Jarrod and i went back to the waiting room to schedule the surgery. They told him that if anybody deserved compassion it would be us. The doctor replied, "I know. I can tell." He then said he has a son the same age as Jarrod so he feels for us and is going to do whatever he can to help us.

We felt as though we were hit by a 2x4. So many emotions raged through. To see my husband cry is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. The timing is so wrong. What's going on is wrong. We're going to have a baby in just a couple months. I just quit my job this September to stay home and raise our kids. Through all these emotions we also have so much peace. God is on the throne and he is sovereign. He doesn't let his children suffer just to have them suffer. We are already seeing positive things coming from all of this. We're seeing the hand of God moving like we've never seen before. We were blessed with friend's of ours buying us a top of the line double stroller worth almost $600.00. Our neighbors are planning a fundraiser dinner for us. Jarrod's sister created another fundraiser online. Our friend's at the school I used to work at our planning meals to bring to us. Jarrod's company is riding the wave with us also, not planning on getting rid of him but going through this with us. Theyre also in the works of doing something for us as well. Who know's what else is going on? We feel total peace and comfort. We know we are being carried by people who love us and by the strongest arms and hands which is our Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, we go through our doubts and fears but overall we know we are in the greatest care and only good is going to come through this...if not all on earth then definitely in heaven where are treasures are being stored. It may seem our world is crashing but we feel God's love stronger than ever. We have his total strength in this weakness. When our lives were perfect, we couldn't see His hand at work. We couldn't experience Him moving in our lives. Now that we are in a desperate and low situation, we can SEE and FEEL him at work. It may not make sense to others but we are experiencing His goodness and awesomeness. We get fearful but we know whatever the outcome of this is God has something GREAT awaiting us...whether that be someone who doesn't know Jesus coming to salvation and truth, complete healing of Jarrod, or something that we can't even fathom. We are excited. We are anticipating something great. This all seems so wrong that something right has to come. Thank you Jesus for whatever you're doing through this.