So many updates so little time...

LONG time no write! Me oh my has it been a long time since I've written. So much has happened since the last time I wrote. I probably should have read my last post before writing a new one but I figured I better just start writing or something or someone will interrupt.

I'll start from November of last year. Last November we celebrated Jarrod's one year since surgery. We put together a huge celebration of life party at our new church, Calvary Chapel Pomona Valley (oh wait, maybe I should have back tracked a little further. i'll get back to that). The turn out was awesome. So many people came. Jarrod and I made a slide show of the fundraiser, the day he went in for surgery, his hospital stay, my ginormous pregnant belly, his return home, the birth of Amariah, etc. It was a tear jerker--for me anyway. We were so blessed to have so many people come and celebrate with us. Knowing you're not alone through times like we've had makes these trials so much easier to walk through.

Now, on to our church change... My good friend invited me to attend her church's women's Bible study over the summer last year. Since Chino Hills wasn't doing one at the time, I decided to join. Her church also had a men's bible study class the same night so Jarrod went to that also. We still went to Chino HIlls on Sundays but started to consider Pomona because we started falling in love with the people there. With MUCH prayer we decided to try it out for a month and see where God led us. We stuck with it a month and made the change. We LOVE Chino Hills and LOVE everyone there. They have supported us and have helped carry us through our most difficult time. We love Pastor Jack and his teachings. We didn't leave because of any bad feelings. We just wanted to go somewhere smaller. There is such a family feel at Pomona. The four of us were welcomed with wide open arms and were made a part of the family right away. Chino Hills is so special to us and we still feel connected there but as of now God has us at Pomona and we're happy here too. I sing with my two good friends for the women's bible study and Jarrod is helping with their Tuesday night kid's club and Sunday morning parking lot ministry. Yeah that's right, parking lot ministry! Cane and all! I love that he's a part of that. He let's nothing stop him.

In January we celebrated Amariah's first birthday. We had a cute little breakfast buffet/cereal bar type party. She's our little sunshine so her bday theme was "You are my sunshine." The weather was gorgeous and our loved ones were there to celebrate with us. There was no fussing from our little fiesty firecracker that day and Hannah loved celebrating her sissy so it was a great 1st birthday for her. We also stopped her acid reflux medication around that time and she has been doing so well without it. I think she might have grown out of it, thank God. Jarrod also started back at work. The same company where he worked before surgery welcomed him back. They have been so amazing. They have done so much for our family. We are so grateful for them. He works three days a week there. He's been loving it. He is such a hard working man. He had been aching to go back since the day after surgery. He's the type of man that wants to work hard for his family to give us the best life possible so for him to not be able to work was a big struggle for him. He loves that he can now treat us out to dinner or bring me home some flowers.

He was doing outpatient therapy for a little bit but after about two months we realized it wasn't doing anything for him. They were more for people who sprained their ankle or was injured in a small accident. They weren't familiar with Jarrod's case and just wasn't the place for him to get closer to walking without a cane. We prayed and prayed about what to do and where to go. We have a friend at our bible study who is a...uhh...sport's rehab trainer(?) I have no clue what he's called but you get the idea. (Sorry Jordan!) He offered to work with Jarrod once a week. We love it because it's one on one, no co-pay, and Jarrod can get some fellowship in there at the same time. We're so blessed to have friends like that to support us and give us their time to help us. Who does that?! Maybe once or twice people help someone out but we've been getting continual support. That amazes me the most. I had a conversation with my neighbor about that awhile ago. In December, someone gave us a check for a very generous amount. I was telling my neighbor how shocked I was that people still think about us--that we're not forgotten. Her response brought tears to my eyes. She said "Because God hasn't forgotten." That's where all this love and support stems from--God alone. He hasn't forgotten us. So often people just get busy. Life gets in the way and you see people who had once gone through a difficult time start to live normally and you think "Okay, theyre good." It's sad but it's understandable. We do it too. God never forgets. He sees what the outside  doesn't see. He sees that we still struggle. He sees that I still carry a lot on my shoulders. He sees the frustration Jarrod still goes through. He sees the hidden tears we still cry. He STILL comes through for us even when it looks okay on the outside. Thank you, Jesus.

February was pretty calm and quiet. Jarrod had an MRI scan that month that came back clean (YAY JESUS!). We also started to plan for our 6th year anniversary which was the next month.

March came and on the 2nd of that month we were hit with another whirlwind. Jarrod went to wake up Amariah that morning for breakfast and when he went in there he knew something was wrong. She was hunched over her legs laying limp. He picked her up and she was pale and not moving. I was in the bedroom changing out of my work clothes and he came in freaked out. I picked her up, she gasped for air, and started turning blue. I layed her down and stripped her naked and was ready to do CPR but she was breathing. I hate saying this but she looked like a dead body still breathing. She wasn't responding, crying, or moving. She was just blue, white, dry, and lifeless. We called 911 and our neighbors who work for the LAPD. All of a sudden the color started coming back and she started to respond to us. By the time the ambulance came, she was fine. The only thing different was she couldn't stand or walk. They wanted to take her to the hospital but we decided to take her ourselves to avoid the ambulance bill. We went to to the hospital, ran tests, and found nothing. They transferred us to Huntington Memorial Hospital--the same hospital Jarrod was at for a month. We stayed overnight so they could observe her and still found nothing. We saw a neurologist after that, had an EEG, and still nothing. 3 weeks went by and she had another episode. I called her primary care doctor this time to ask if i should go to the ER. He suggested to see him first just as long as she's breathing. We did and gave us an urgent referral to see a different neurologist. We saw him and liked him much better than the last neuro we saw. He was much more thorough, informative, and baby friendly. Since then we've had another EEG and will have to have an MRI which is scheduled for Friday, the 19th. Since she's still a baby she will have to be sedated for the MRI because she will need to be completely still.

When this first happened, I was in such...shock I guess you could say. I wasn't really worried or sad. I actually started to feel bad because I wasn't. I even said some things to a couple people as if i were worried because I felt bad that I really wasn't. Silly, I know.  Then today when the hospital called to schedule the MRI, it became more real. I started to cry. I hate that my little baby has to go through all of this. When Jarrod went through it we could talk it out, pray, be encouraged but she can't understand what's going on and we can't explain anything to her. It kills me inside.

The other day I went on a run and was just praying about everything that's going on with Amariah. I asked for God to lessen the load a bit because it started feeling kinda heavy. Then I remembered Jarrod's scan that came back clean and thanked Him for it. Then I started remembering a list of things that have happened that I was thankful for and I realized all these things were God's way of "lessening the load." Then God spoke to my heart and said "I already lessened the load on the cross." AYE! MY HEART! It would have been more than enough if all God did was send His Son to die in my place so I could be free but He's done so much more than that! Jesus conquered death, gave the gift of salvation, AND THEN gave me life, an AMAZING husband, two beautiful girls, wonderful friends, and so much more. Those are all extras! I don't deserve ANY of that but He blessed me anyway because He loves me. Any trial that comes in between that is nothing compared to what I really deserve. These trials we've been getting hit with have been made so much smaller when I look at life in that perspective. It's so freeing. I feel like the load has been lifted. Now I'm trying to just enjoy all these "extra's" God has so blessed me with while I have them and taking these "hits" with His supernatural strength. There will be a day when there will be no "hits" and we can enjoy our blessings without them. That day will come soon enough. Until then may these trials continue to shape us and create in us character that a simple happy slappy day just can't do.

Amariah's MRI is next Friday. Please keep her and our family in your prayers. After the results come back from the MRI, we'll see the neurologist and he'll go over all the results. I'll kee ya posted. ;) There are lots more that has happened  (good things) but I'll have to save that for the next post.